The Demon Version edition by Caleb Casey Literature Fiction eBooks
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Three young women. One possessed. Rush her to a hospital? A church? Or maybe they’ll prefer the demon version. (A short story.)
Excerpt #01 (the beginning of the story)
“I think this room is haunted.”
The three girls are standing in the open doorway, looking in. Through the only window, past a skeletal, ice-covered tree outside, the full moon looks like it’s only a few feet away. A black scuff on the white wall looks vaguely like a disembodied face.
Emily Foster, the tall one, looks bored. “I’m sure it is,” she says, adjusting her thick-rimmed rectangular eyeglasses, “but the bar closes in a few hours and I don’t want to be sober all night.”
Arica Kobayashi, the short one, adds to her initial objection. “It’s freezing in here, too.”
Emily “An unfortunate side effect of December.”
Excerpt #02
“A church can do an exorcism or something?”
“Have you ever read The Exorcist or seen the movie?”
“No,” Arica says.
“Well, two people die during the exorcism scene at the end,” Emily says. “Besides, I liked the demon version of the little girl better than the regular one.”
The Demon Version edition by Caleb Casey Literature Fiction eBooks
The Demon Version is one terrific short story. It has a great pace that keeps the readers interest and before you know it, it's all over!The author has a great talent for fitting a lot of story into a little bit of space. The characters are all very well developed and you feel like you know them even though you really only spend such a small amount of time with them. The plotline moves right along smoothly from start to finish and it's an all around enjoyable story that mixes humor with horror perfectly. This story is terrific as it is and would also be brilliant as a much longer version as well.
I'm not going to give anything away with the story because you should really stop reading this review now and go reads the story for yourself. It's well worth it. Great story!
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The Demon Version edition by Caleb Casey Literature Fiction eBooks Reviews
The Demon Version.
Summary
For me, this story didn't really work. There wasn't any build up in tension. Instead we get a mishmash of drinking, chatter and going back and forth thrown together with an unexplained possession from a 'haunted room' which wasn't described or grounded in any sort of lore or back-story. There's a haunted room, one of them went in it, acted a bit odd including superhuman strength & hypnotism then it's all over for no rhyme or reason.
However I do think the author has some potential. If he dropped the colon used to precede speech, and built the creepy up slowly rather than the jerky unsupported approach shown here then he could write a fairly good story. The style of the prose is engaging, and there is an appropriate balance between dialogue and action. It just needed a few tweaks, and a bit more grounding as to what the horror element actually entailed. I wanted to know how the room was haunted, why they stayed there anyway, what effect it had on people and perhaps a lore or legend as to how the 'haunted room' came to be haunted. I'd also like a more detailed ending that shows how she became depossessed.
This has the bare bones of a workable story, but it needs the flesh added. Forehadowing, a reason for the demon's presence and a more grounded approach to how he possesses (and when that possession ends) would improve this story considerably.
All in all, I think a rating of 2.5* rating is a fair reflection of this short story. I have therefore rounded up to 3* taking into account the low price point.
***SPOILER ALERT***
Our story starts with Emily, Aricia and Kira going out for drinks. The tone sets the scene as a 'Let's get plastered' evening and the girls are shortly joined by alcoholic Felicia who is thoroughly unpleasant.
There is a distinct impression of the 'ladette' culture in the writing, and this is conveyed brilliantly.
There's some girl talk regarding cheating which doesn't quite hit the mark as it's written with a somewhat male tone of voice attempting to imitate a woman's. For example 'I'll fight you right here, right now' doesn't feel like something a woman would say. Nor does the discussion of a 'junker' car which even describes the flat tyres.
The other issue with the speech is that the colon is used which breaks the flow as the author uses a NAME "Speech" format intermittently that is reminiscent of a screenplay rather than a short work of narrative fiction.
The girls then go home without incident after a bouncer breaks up the fun, so there's an anticlimactic feeling as we rejoin them the next morning. The author could be more subtle here as he describes 'the haunted room' as 'the haunted room'. A show don't tell approach would better build the tension here.
The anticlimax continues with a discussion at the end of chapter III. I was tempted to stop reading by this point, but at 18 pages I wanted to give the fairest review I could. It would have been useful to start the story with some action rather than the mundane anticlimax/ inane chatter. By location 126 the only hint of supernatural is that Kira is acting a bit odd, and mumbles Latin backwards... but these symptoms are disguised as presumably she was also rather hung-over (as we are told she has thrown up).
They then have breakfast, and on the way out without any foreshadowing Kira somehow has superman strength -and uses it to upend a car. They leave, and Kira has a slight nosebleed.
Then they go get pissed yet again - and Kira half threatens Felicia with some more gibberish. Felicia then jumps to getting into a drinking competition and starts feeling up a random at the bar before 'one of her friends' pulls her away and she yells rape. Then pukes.
We're then led to believe that she was acting like a drunken slut, not because she was in a bar drunk but because of the mumbled nonsense. She was hypnotised. They decide to go the ER, and Kira seems to snap out of her possession or whatever supernatural mumbo jumbo the author was trying to convey. She's confused, and they go home.
I've never read C. Casey's work before, and I wanted to give it a shot since I enjoy horror and supernatural stories. I really enjoyed this story, and my only complaint is that I wish it had been longer. It's a perfect short story, with all the elements to keep the reader involved until the very end. However, it could be expanded upon for one heck of a novel!
The characters are very much like anyone who may know, or have met at some point, so they feel comfortable right from the beginning. I have to say that it's one of the things that will make me love a story; being comfy with the people I'm reading about.
I'm never one to give anything away in a story, but I will say that I'll read more of his work, and I'll keep my fingers crossed that a full length story gets releases in the future. Well done!
I just finished reading this a few moments ago and felt it was so good i wanted to review it right away with the thought of it still in my head. i love a good story that affects you in that way.
so its creepy and inventive. i have now read all his other stories and i find myself wanting two things.
1 i want more of them and 2 i want them longer. i swear if there was a full length novel of his i would buy it right away.
as for the story itself its a good demonstration of what someone can do with a short story. you dont need to know every detail of how why and what. it is there and as long as you are drawn into it and riveted to it you will be reading it to the end and find yourself wanting more of it. that is the effect i had from this one.
i once read the acid house by Irvine welsh and i think this is the story he hadnt thought of
The Demon Version is one terrific short story. It has a great pace that keeps the readers interest and before you know it, it's all over!
The author has a great talent for fitting a lot of story into a little bit of space. The characters are all very well developed and you feel like you know them even though you really only spend such a small amount of time with them. The plotline moves right along smoothly from start to finish and it's an all around enjoyable story that mixes humor with horror perfectly. This story is terrific as it is and would also be brilliant as a much longer version as well.
I'm not going to give anything away with the story because you should really stop reading this review now and go reads the story for yourself. It's well worth it. Great story!
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